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Diane L. Crosson
Texas Council on Family Violence
When defining domestic violence, terms such as, "family violence," "domestic violence," "abuse," "battering" and "spouse abuse" are often used interchangeably. A good comprehensive definition of abuse or battering is:
Battering is a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over another. It is behavior that physically harms, arouses fear, prevents a woman from doing what she wishes, or forces her to behave in ways she does not want. Battering includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation.
A battered woman may not identify herself as such. She may seem anxious and fearful. She may or may not have obvious bruises or injuries. She may be hesitant to discuss the abuse. She may feel there is no hope to change her situation and may be slow to trust service providers. She may feel shame and guilt about the abuse.
If you wish to ascertain whether a client is a victim of domestic violence, you must always interview her in private, separate and away from the potential abuser. It will not be safe for her to be open or honest with you about the abuse in the presence of her abuser.
There are two things that a battered woman should be told.
One is that the violence and abuse is not her fault. Women not only get blamed by the abuser, but often have their own guilt about the relationship.
Second, she should be told that she does not deserve to be abused, and no one deserves to be treated in that way. Hearing this from an outsider can help her begin to redefine the abuse as something she doesn't have to endure.
As with any client, it is important to determine the victim's needs without labeling or making judgements. Her understanding of the words "abuse" and "violence" may be different from yours. That is okay. Allow her to explain her experience; resist the urge to label or define her situation. Ask specific questions and use simple language. Some questions that may be useful in identifying her as a victim of domestic violence are:
Answers to the following questions may indicate a higher level of severity and risk:
Battered women need to be treated with respect. Service providers responding to a victim of domestic violence should accept and affirm her experience without blaming or making judgments. Her choices, decisions, and her right to make her own decisions should be respected. Well-meaning helpers often try to push their own choices onto women, which only results in alienating them further. It is important that she feels she has an ally that she can turn to when she's ready.
Women who are abused need information about their options and resources available to them. Service providers working with a battered woman should refer her to the domestic violence program nearest her. Battered women can receive specialized services even though they may not be residing at the domestic violence shelter. Domestic violence programs can provide advocacy and information on her options, legal remedies and personal issues that may not be readily available through your program. She may also need information about other available resources, such as financial assistance, housing, job training, etc.
Battered women face increasing danger, and possibly even death, when they leave their abusive partners. Talking with her about her safety and the ongoing safety of herself and her children, "safety planning," is absolutely critical. This discussion should include ways that she can be safest at home, what to take if she leaves, how best to leave, as well as where she might go. Service providers can educate women about safety planning, assist in developing strategies that suit her needs and help her to rehearse strategies. It is important to advise her to re-evaluate her plan frequently and to share her plan only with those individuals whom she can trust to assist her.
The personal safety plan brochure can be a convenient reminder for a woman to review at any time. The brochure has space for emergency and other local phone numbers that she may need readily available. It is recommended that the numbers of local domestic violence programs, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, local police agencies, district attorneys offices, and other state and local referral agencies be included on the brochure. Due to the fact that the brochure has information on leaving an abusive situation, it should only be given out at a safe time and place, and should not fall into the hands of the abuser. Successful safety planning should enable women to continue evaluating and revising their plan for safety, as needed, even when they are no longer receiving services.
See Domestic Violence Brochures at the end of this chapter (English & Spanish).
Who are the victims of domestic violence? Victims of family violence are predominately women, as shown by the US Bureau of Justice Statistics stating that 92% of family violence is committed by men against female partners (1994). Family violence occurs in all ethnic, economic, racial and social groups.
In the domestic violence field, it is widely-accepted that abuse is based in the need of one person to exert control and maintain power over another. The Power and Control Wheel, developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (DAIP) in Duluth, Minnesota (1984) is an excellent illustration of this. The wheel shows the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors which are used to establish and maintain control over the battered woman.
Although physical assaults may occur only occasionally, they instill the threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control over the woman's life, (DAIP, 1984). Regular use of less obvious forms of abuse, such as intimidation, isolation and economic abuse when reinforced by acts of physical or sexual violence make up the larger system of abuse. The Power and Control wheel lists abusive behaviors which firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the violent relationship.
See Power & Control Wheels at the end of this chapter (English & Spanish).
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